How Often Should You Be Having Sex?
June 27, 2025
There is no universal standard for how frequently couples should have sex. According to sex therapists, the average couple engages in sexual activities about once a week. Research indicates that having sex more often than this doesn't necessarily lead to higher relationship satisfaction. Instead, satisfaction tends to grow when partners focus on deepening their emotional connection, which can naturally lead to more frequent intimacy. For many couples, regular sexual activity is a crucial component of their bond, while others may choose to abstain.
Not having sex regularly can impact aspects of physical health, as sexual activity serves as a natural form of exercise and contributes to hormonal balance. Yet, it’s common for couples to take sex for granted as their relationship progresses. Life’s routines, daily exhaustion and endless excuses often result in intimacy being postponed, sometimes for months. Factors such as age, health, life events, and changes in the relationship can also influence sexual activity. This is why open communication about sexual needs is essential for maintaining a healthy connection.
Many couples wonder why the passion of the early stages of their relationship fades. While new love often ignites strong desire, the reality of daily life can make intimacy feel like just another task on the to-do list. Moving in together, health concerns, weight changes, or hormonal imbalances often exacerbate this shift. These are natural challenges, but they shouldn’t become excuses to neglect one another. Instead, couples should make the effort to rekindle romance and reignite the feelings they shared at the start of their relationship.
What amount is considered average sex...
Published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, a study of average sexual frequency suggests that couples who have sex once a week report being the happiest. However, it’s important to emphasize that there isn’t a “normal” or ideal number that applies to everyone. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to how often couples should have sex. Studies suggest that the average adult engages in sex weekly, but this frequency can vary greatly based on factors such as age, relationship status, and personal circumstances. Younger adults, particularly those in their 20s and 30s, tend to have sex more frequently than older adults; but some couples enjoy intimacy multiple times a week, while others may prefer a less frequent rhythm.
Sex Drive Declines for Unique Reasons
In most relationships, sex may be the number one way to connect and express feelings of love and desire. Nonetheless, a healthy sex life isn’t about hitting a specific frequency but about maintaining a connection that works for the individuals involved. Open and honest communication about sexual needs, preferences, and any concerns is vital for fostering intimacy and strengthening the relationship. Discussed below are common culprits for a decline in a couple’s sex life, such as:
- Performance Anxiety – Both men and women are fearful of experiencing performance anxiety at any age. If either partner feels pressured to always be in the mood for sex, it can lead to a vicious cycle where the actually having sex becomes the primary source of stress and anxiety.
- Health Problems – A partner who has suffered a heart attack or stroke may avoid sex in fear of triggering another event. Those with chronic illnesses may be dealing with pain or have low libido due to the medications they take. Metabolic disorders like diabetes can also limit sex drive.
- Body Image – Mild versions of daily depression can kill a person’s sex drive and this often leads to negative self-talk about body image. Sexual dissatisfaction via this form of cognitive distraction can cause a partner to actually miss the cues needed for sexual attraction and arousal.
- Midlife Crisis – Although midlife crisis is not a disorder, it can be a transitional period that occurs between 40 to 60 years of age. It is a questioning period highlighted by regret and worry that is often related to feelings of dissatisfaction with life, work or one’s sexual relationships.
- Busy Lifestyle – Couples today tend to live very busy lives and are often tired at the end of the day. In fact, a recent survey found “I’m too tired” to be the most common excuse. But, that should be reason enough to rally, as sex releases endorphins and oxytocin that promote a restful night of sleep.
- Poor Expectations – Unrealistic expectations are definitely a double-edged sword. Although such feelings can lead to excitement about having sex, comparing one’s sexual experiences to what is portrayed in the media or what is fantasized on porn sites can lead to faulty expectations.
- Relationship Issues – Unresolved relationship issues often lead to a lack of connection. Problems with communication, trust or intimacy are among the most common causes. But overfamiliarity with a partner is likely the number one cause of erotic dissatisfaction.
Prioritizing time for each other and making consistent efforts to nourish intimacy can help couples maintain a fulfilling connection over time. Additionally, sexual activity can have physical and emotional health benefits, such as improving mood, reducing stress, and supporting hormonal balance. On the other hand, prolonged abstinence may contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, or even physical discomfort for some individuals. For couples facing hurdles in their sex life, addressing potential challenges can significantly help them avoid sexual declines.
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Men equate having an active sex life with their self-worth. Although this is really not the case, errantly abstaining from sex can lead to a long list of problems. What matters most is the mutual satisfaction of both partners. If you’ve noticed a change in desire, it is a good time to schedule an exam with men’s sexual health specialist at GAINSWave Jacksonville. Dr. Earl Eye has over fifty years of experience with specialties in infectious disease, internal medicine, endocrinology, diabetes, pulmonary disease, and age management. To make an appointment with a dedicated physician whose men’s health practice relies on the latest diagnostic and treatment protocols, call (904) 500-5500.
